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July 28th, 2010


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03:53 pm
I think I'm flattered by this exchange that happened over IM earlier, but I keep mentally coming back to it today...

Me: Sorry, I'm just a bit scattered today.
Me: hell, this month.
Me: July == scattered to the winds.
Her: whatever. if you were less scattered you'd be too intimidating to be friends with.


Intimidating? moi? never an adjective I'd have ascribed to myself.
Do I come across as intimidating to any of you? If so, why?
I think of my self as very easy going, approachable, and just generally chill, kind of the opposite of intimidating.
mood: curiouscurious

(23 bits of drivel | babble incoherently)

Comments:


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From:countlibras
Date:July 28th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
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I've very barely met you in person so I suspect that if I say 'no' that it doesn't count. XD
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From:inahandbasket
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
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Actually it might count more... ;)
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From:geekpixie
Date:July 28th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
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Having seen you intensely focused, yes, you can in fact achieve intimidating ;)
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From:inahandbasket
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
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but achieve is different than "be"...
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From:zzbottom
Date:July 28th, 2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
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I find you to be quite chill. However, you also have an intensity in which each thing you take on you approach with a high self-expectation of your competence and ability to to achieve. I imagine there are tose who would find that intimidating.
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From:inahandbasket
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
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Hmm, noted. thanks.
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From:moominmolly
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:11 pm (UTC)

I don't find you intimidating either, but:

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This. The combination of 'chill' and 'intense' is unusual enough to be striking -- and sometimes striking translates to indimidating for people.
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From:wanderyng1
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
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Perhaps it's just that I tend to not be intimidated by people but no, I don't find you intimidating at all.
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From:inahandbasket
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
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But I have a huge head... and tiny arms! phear me!
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From:beah
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
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To me, you come across as shy, which I think some people interpret as aloof and are intimidated by. I also think you are hard to get to know, cautious and guarded. Which, again, some might react to as intimidating.

Plus, you are very attractive, and lots of people find hotties intimidating ;)

Which is not to say that you aren't also easy going and chill. In fact, I think you are those things too.
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From:moominmolly
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
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Plus, you are very attractive, and lots of people find hotties intimidating ;)

Heh, also that. :)
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From:faux_eonix
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:13 pm (UTC)
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As someone who is regularly accused of being intimidating I will say this:

While I don't see you as intimidating, having drive, vision and the where with all to get shit done, can be intimidating for some.

Also, you have expertise and skill in a number of fields which many find difficult to master.

That said, I feel you are very easy going, approachable, chill, exceedingly friendly, loving and an overall awesome dude.
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From:oceanic
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:59 pm (UTC)
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That's pretty much exactly what I was going to say. You're like a chill dude wearing a reversible slicker, and when you reverse it you're all mega-competent and slightly intimidating, and then you stop and try to flip the slicker back over and it gets all tangled. And then you're chill again.

horrible similes ftw!
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From:rosefox
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:18 pm (UTC)
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See analysis here for discussion of why certain personality traits translate as "intimidating" to certain people.
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From:inahandbasket
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:26 pm (UTC)
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Thanks, will read when I have more time on my hands.
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From:nanila
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
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I didn't think you or prosicated were intimidating when we met. Mostly I felt at ease and happy in your presences.
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From:entrope
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:39 pm (UTC)
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Someone said to me recently that "intimidating" actually means "super smart, pretty to look at, and not always extroverted." I think you qualify.
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From:jjjiii
Date:July 28th, 2010 08:53 pm (UTC)
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Probably she meant impressive, which for some people, can be intimidating. Take it as a compliment.
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From:squirrella
Date:July 28th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
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i'm, if not intimidated, then at least in awe of your knowledge base. i feel like you're among that group of friends that just KNOWS stuff, whether it's naturally known or whatever.

also, i think it's because you're so easy-going and chill that your superior intellect (i say that as mocklessly as one can) intimidates all the more. it's like girl-next-door-beauty, but it's your brain. BRAINSSSSSSSSS.

does that make any sense?
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From:muffyjo
Date:July 29th, 2010 02:22 am (UTC)
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You are attractive and talented. Your shyness often means that you don't look people in the eye, and certainly not for long. I think that the way you scan a crowd, probably looking for friendly faces and solidarity, is interpreted as a lack of interest to the person you are meeting which comes off as aloof and "cool" which could be intimidating. Especially if the person is already on the defensive in some fashion (just meeting you after a set, just meeting you at a party, trying to catch your eye, whatever.)

Just a thought.
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From:diablaxmachina
Date:July 29th, 2010 06:28 am (UTC)
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Not like I've seen you in forever, but I don't remember you as being intimidating in the slightest. Although that picture of you stroking your goatee might be...

Now you've got me wondering the same thing. Time to blog about it! :P
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From:dancingwolfgrrl
Date:July 29th, 2010 12:31 pm (UTC)
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I don't find you intimidating, especially, but I do think you may be a commodity where demand exceeds supply, so to speak :) If that's true, you're in a relatively powerful position -- in that you can turn things down while still having lots of options -- which I think could read as initimidating?
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From:cayetana
Date:July 29th, 2010 01:19 pm (UTC)
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I don't think you're intimidating at all. At least not in the "Ima break your kneecaps" way. But maybe in the you're-too-talented-for-your-own-good way.
I think I'm flattered by this exchange that happened over IM earlier,… - another LJ. or: how i learned to stop worrying and love this life-thingy

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