June 6th, 2001
This is for everyone out there who's used AOL before. Especially those of us who might have been lil wee AOHellers. (oh, admit it. You did it too...)
And I promise, no more stolen humor items for awhile. :o)
Zabu451:Hello from America Online! I'm sorry to inform you that there has been an error in the I/O section of your account database, and this this server's password information has been temporarily destroyed. We need you, the AOL user, to hit reply and type in your password. Thank you for your help.
Newfpyr:Hello! This is Server Manager #563. I'm sorry to hear that your server has lost the password info. I mean, this has been hapening too much lately.
NewfPyr:We have developed some solutions to this problem. Have you got the mail sent out to all server managers?
NewfPyr:Really? Ouch. There's been some problems with the server mailer lately. Oh, well. Here's a solution to this problem: try connecting your backup database to your main I/O port, then accessing the system restart.
Zabu451:no i still need passwords
NewfPyr:I see. Do you want me to send you the list of all the passwords of all the screen names of your server?
Zabu451:ya i want that
NewfPyr:Let me get the server manager to send it...
NewfPyr:He says I need your server manager password. Could you please type it in?
Zabu451:i dont have one
NewfPyr:What do you mean? That's the first thing every manager gets!
NewfPyr:Wow! You must be having a lot of trouble. Let me find out what server you're using...
[Note: I checked his profile. It said he was from Springfield, Mass.]
NewfPyr:Okay, you're number has been tracked to an area in Springfield, Mass.
Zabu451:how did u know?!!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!!
NewfPyr:I used Server Tracker 5.0 . Don't you have it?
Zabu451:do you know my address!?!?!?!!?!?
NewfPyr:Of course not.
NewfPyr:I only know the number you're calling AOL from, which is from your server, right?
NewfPyr:Good. Okay, now that we have you're number, we have your address, and we are sending a repair team over there.
Zabu451:dont stop them now
NewfPyr:Why? Isn't your server down?
Zabu451:nonono its working now
NewfPyr:They're still coming, just in case.
Zabu451:STOP THEM NOW
NewfPyr:I can't break AOL Polacy.
Zabu451:POEPLE ARE COMING TO MY HOUSE?!?!?!?!??
NewfPyr:No! To your server. You know, where you're calling AOL from.
Zabu451:im calling from my house
NewfPyr:But you said you where calling from the server!
Zabu451:i lied im not reely a server guy
NewfPyr:But you said you were!
Zabu451:i lied i trying to get passwords please make them stop
NewfPyr:Okay. The repair team isn't coming anymore.
NewfPyr:But a team of FBI agents is.
Zabu451:ill never do it again please make them not come
Zabu451:PLEASE IL STOP ASKING FOR PASSWORDS FOREVER PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP!!
NewfPyr:I'm sorry, I can't do that. They should be at your house in 5 minutes.
Zabu451:IM SORRY IL DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DONT WANT THEM TO HURT ME
NewfPyr:They won't hurt you! You'll probobly only spend a year of prison.
Zabu451:NO IM ONLY A KID
NewfPyr:You are? That makes it diferent. You wont go to prison for a year.
Zabu451:i thout so
NewfPyr:You'll go for two years.
Zabu451:NO! IM SORRY
Zabu451:PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP
[I thought this was enough. He was probably wetting his pants.]
NewfPyr:Since this was a first time offense, I think I can drop charges.
NewfPyr:The FBI agents have been withdrawn. If you ever do it again, we'll bump you off.
Zabu451:i wont im sorry goodbye
[He promptly signed off.]
What'd we used to call that? Phishing? I believe so...
where'd you steal that from? i was going to be pissy that you had an SN i didn't know and then i noticed the "stolen" up top....
proud to say i was *never* an aoler.
I saw a similar thing that was a web site dedicated to people fucking with those who cyber. I wish I could remember the URL now......
And no, I never phished. It was more fun to make fake accounts.
and so on.
Damned 5 hours/month. :-p